Can Two Walk Together…

« The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. »
– George Bernard Shaw, Nobel Prize-winning playwright

She is talking…are you listening? He is talking…have you been listening? Are you listening with curiosity to properly understand before you reply or you’re simply listening to give a reply?

Communication. This word is the reason why a lot of relationships amount to nothing. It is the reason why a lot of potential relationships ended at “how are you?” and “have you eaten?”. What that girl didn’t tell you was that, she hated being asked that question every single time you texted her. Anyway, we’ll continue that one later. It is also the reason why a lot of marriages ended even after the 13th anniversary.

Once upon a time, (before there was WhatsApp video and FaceTime, there was viber and Skype – hello Gen Zs …this is for your big siblings and hanties) someone broke up with me because I used to fall asleep on him during Skype calls. I was a fresh uni girl trying to balance my life with CSM lectures as early as 6am and statistics lectures as late as 6 and 8pm.
This boyfriend, who was GMT – 5, would be so upset his tired girl fell asleep whiles talking to him on Skype when it was 1am or 2am at hers and she needed to be up at 5am for a lecture at 6am

« Do you not feel sleepy before you sleep? You should tell me when you’re sleepy so you don’t just sleep off! »,I was told. A few months later, after 2 beautiful years, I was back to being a single girl.

What I didn’t realize then was that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and in the midst of our differences, we all had what was important to us – especially, a language that we spoke and understood!….and therefore it was essential to use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others – speak their language, and relate with them in a way that makes sense to them. It is only in so doing that effective communication can be achieved.

I speak a couple of languages – both Ghanaian and foreign – Guan(Larteh), different Akan dialects (Akuapem, Fanti, Akyem, Asante), Krobo, then English, French and a bit of Spanish. Imagine if I had to speak Larteh to my friend, … Nana Akosua who’s Asante, that girl would most likely give me a hefty slap on the cheek if she could…

Which is why with your love language of acts of service, you think your partner should appreciate the fact that you have been doing your best helping around the house or running errands for her. However, her love language is physical touch and she would do anything to get that random warm hug or that soft spank and gentle squeeze of her beautifully rounded bottom as she walked past you…or maybe it’s actually quality time, and that’s why she doesn’t understand why you are being a Martha when you could simply be a Mary who did nothing, but sat at the feet of Jesus and listened to his stories!

This topic of communication is one that I cannot squeeze into a single write up even if I tried. So, for the next couple of days, I will talk about various aspects of it.

But ask yourself this….are you communicating ? Are you speaking your partner’s language? Are they listening to you? Are you also listening to them? Do they understand what you’re saying? Are they even making an effort to and vice versa ?

Believe me when I say this; Psalm 11:3 is true – If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (KJV) …..and Communication, my loves, is the MOST IMPORTANT pillar of every relationship…

Amos 3:3 –

Can two people walk together

without agreeing on the direction? (NLT)

You never know the magic in effective communication till you realize that in all the 2 weeks you’ve been married, you’ve been shagging thighs and not that delicately soft honeypot that oozes milk and honey…

We’ll continue later…

Now and always…

~ Rosario…